A Geek (Parent)’s Love
As a computer geek, I love my kids a bit differently (is it an understatement ?) than others.
I love them very much, but I’m also able to discipline them fairly when needed. My kids are all able to use computer since they’re babies 
All are able to use Linux daily 
They love books, as I do. They don’t watch TV (I forbid one in my house), but they browse the internet under our supervision. And so on.
But what make me in awe everyday is because I happen to understand computers : I know how stupid it is. So I’m constantly amazed when my kids are able to accomplish something new. Because it made me remember that, despite the latest advances in the artificial-intelligence field, they are nowhere close to the intelligence level of my baby : self-aware & sentient. And capability to learn pretty much **anything**.
Try to top that
Anyway, so it was with great feeling I read this comment again and again. It moved me so much.
It was exactly my experience, but written so much more eloquently that I could ever hoped for.
I hope I’ll be successful in my duty : to raise all of my kids to be good adults. To all other geek parent’s out there, here’s one for you :
I won’t lie to you — being a parent is no laughing matter. It is a ton of work. It can be amazingly stressful and expensive. I’ve been through periods that I look back on now and wonder how the hell I managed to pull through without going completely insane.
But if you ask me, the rewards outweigh the difficulties ten to one.When your child first looks up at your face and you see actual recognition in her eyes… when you see all the blocks fall into place as she figures out how to do something for the first time… look, I know it sounds really sappy and smarmy, but seriously (srsly) it is absolutely indescribable.
This thing started out as a bit of genetic code from two people, and now it is actually self-aware and sentient. How cool is that? What geek can’t be astonished at these emergent properties, derived from a program more complicated than you can possibly imagine — a program that has spontaneously evolved over time?And you get to see her mental map evolve. You watch branches get added to her decision tree. You observe as she learns how to acquire information, process it, and decide how to act upon it. And all the while, you mold her view of the world based on your interactions with her. I don’t know about you, but I find that not only fascinating, but incredibly rewarding.
Before my daughter was born, I was terrified too, and (if) somebody had said these things to me, I would’ve said, “Yeah, okay, I’m sure it’s great and all, but I’m sure you’re exaggerating somewhat.” That’s because there is something that happens to you when it’s your kid. There’s some very ancient, very basic code that gets turned on in your brain that says “this life is your responsibility, and you must do everything you can to ensure its safety, survival, and growth“. I can’t explain it because I honestly believe it’s something buried deep beneath the conscious mind.
February 20th, 2008 09:06
r u serious that your kids don’t watch TV? any TV show?
somehow I feel sorry for that
February 20th, 2008 09:46
Nice writing. Nice.
February 20th, 2008 11:10
He3x, wait until she is 6 years and asking you to set-up her own blog and refuse her parents to edit the contents, like my daughter.
February 20th, 2008 12:13
thx ntuk pencerahannya mas
February 21st, 2008 08:59
btw, how old are your child?
TV is helping my daughter to concentrate while we feed her.
jadi selain tv apa dong? masa udah diajarin browsing
February 21st, 2008 13:14
@Irfan & @Yudhis - thanks for the compliments
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@Toni - looking forward to that ! **bracing myself for impact**
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@andriansah - sorry if I wasn’t too clear.
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The point was to ensure that all input to your children are only the good ones.
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Actually you can expose them to bad things too - but you must make sure that :
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1. You’ll be there in case they have questions
2. You can explain it well to them
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An example that I did can be read here.
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The problem with TV nowadays are :.
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1. There are WAY too many bad contents, compared to the good ones
2. We were not always available to them in case they have questions
3. But many of the contents on TV nowadays are pure junk; it’s designed to make you passive. So usually the kids will have no questions, but it will rot their brain anyway.
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So we ban the TV, and we provide them with positive contents instead.
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For example, since we’re muslims, we have educational VCDs produced by NCR. We also have entertainments for them - our family’s favorites are Azumanga Daioh and UFO baby **summon Idban**. Very funny, yet there are things we can learn from those.
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And yes, it’s much easier to feed the kids while they’re busy playing / watching. My 5 years old can easily ate 2 plates this way
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Hope it clear things up.
February 22nd, 2008 05:15
“this life is your responsibility, and you must do everything you can to ensure its safety, survival, and growth“.
Great
Parenting is real tough job and every parent learns it through experiences. These experiences can be either shared or acheived through self practise.
well, m child is too small now to watch Tv or even to speak singlw word but i’m keeping her away from television for sometime.
February 22nd, 2008 12:15
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March 4th, 2008 09:00
i think we need to look our kid first before we pay attention to computer.
March 10th, 2008 02:13
Children are indeed all what a computer is not.
They cause emotion: tenderness, pain, discovery. sadness, worries, relief, stormy moments, ultimate happiness.
From my flimsy efforts of education of the three of them I remember they were lovable, exciting, unpredictable, naughty, defiant and grateful.
I’m a lucky guy. They are independent grown ups now - doing fine.
March 10th, 2008 08:45
@Rozita - totally agree with you.
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@colson - congratulations pak.You’re so blessed with them.
Please wish me luck as well.
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This is a really hard job - you can try your best, but the outcome may still be different than what you wish.
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Thanks for coming !
March 11th, 2008 23:00
I am not yet a parent but I think my parents has done a great job in bringing me up. I wasnt the type of kid who gets anything I want, there was no room for too much pampering, only when I get to present good results and do a good turn. Reading the post and the comments makes me appreciate parents more, One day I will be one of your guys too.
April 5th, 2008 17:40
Check out the video of the young baby suffering from Rickrolling addiction - http://rickrolling.blogspot.com/
May 17th, 2008 07:11
I am a little surprised that your babies were able to use the computer at that young age
The internet is getting out of control these days and do you install some internet filtering stuffs for you kids? I am looking for one for my kids ..
May 19th, 2008 00:19
Hi Judy, Glubble might be just what you’re looking for.
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Have fun with it !
June 14th, 2008 06:00
It is very good not letting kids watch tv. But I wouldn’ say the same thing about letting them computing since the they are babies.
June 28th, 2008 10:42
ahoy fellow geek parent!
my kids love the fact that i play world of warcraft with em :]
found your blog on google, i like!
check mine out if ya dont mind, im new!
-Ang
June 30th, 2008 19:13
Hi Angela, love your blog there. Very funny & down to earth. You’re sharing some pretty useful tips too.
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Yeah whenever possible I give them multiplayer games **and** I’ll play with them. It’ll help us to be closer together.
Single player games can be rather destructive / make kids to become a loner if not carefully supervised.
July 4th, 2008 07:05
r u sure ur kids dont watch the tv?not even when u r not there?
its kind of a gud thing and also is partly bad as they dont get to know the happening around.
July 4th, 2008 07:15
@Sonix - yes, because we don’t have TV at home
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We do watch TV when we went out, example, to their grandpa’s house. But in that case, usually I’ll be available around them to explain things they don’t understand. And to let them know that this is trash (and why so), this is good stuff, and so on.
July 6th, 2008 08:40
I do regret the day I began letting my children watch television. I once had the goal of a TV-free home, but alas I married someone who thinks TV is educational. I try very hard to limit the TV watching. Some days I do better than other days. My children are allowed to watch only the public television channel, nothing else.
August 5th, 2008 04:12
I believe as long as you monitor what there watching that having my children watching tv is not bad at all.
August 5th, 2008 15:23
That’s a good start - and ideally you’ll be able to answer their questions and/or explain stuff that may be interpreted differently by them.
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Such as the wrestling shows - you’ll need to make them understand that it’s just show off, not real. Otherwise incidents will happen; we have several kids killed several others when they tried to imitate WWF. This may be avoided if there’s an adult there which was available to make them understand the truth of the show.
August 6th, 2008 08:07
This is an amazing writing. Very touching and profound. Thank you for publishing it! Thank you again!
August 8th, 2008 03:49
thats a great post.very gud and true to the core. also the best gift you have given ur kids is no tv.keep up the gud work.
August 17th, 2008 23:05
Hi, I to love computers and I have an 18 month old that is always trying to use the keyboard and mouse. I’m sure it will not be long until he starts browsing the web.
I wanted to say that I agree with the comment Judy left on May 17th, having some kind of filtering sofware installed is cruicial. You never know when an innocent looking web search will return image results you would not want your child to look at, or anyone else for that matter!
August 21st, 2008 12:22
If you want to learn things regarding computers, ask your kids! Sometimes, they are more expert in these gadgets than we do! I always work on my Personal Bank Checks site but when they start to insist they want to use it, I don’t have second thoughts!
August 22nd, 2008 21:31
very nice article, sharing same feeling you.. thanks for…
August 22nd, 2008 21:38
u forbid the watching tv but permission to internet. this is a coplex for child, i think. internet can be dangerous for children.
August 22nd, 2008 22:07
Even i m a computer geek..yea making them good at computers when they’re kids is actually a great thing..will surely help them out later!
Nice writing mate!
August 22nd, 2008 23:27
Definitely a kid deserves more attention than a computer! Kids are somehow naturally talented towards computers. Maybe you can design a website together with them?
August 23rd, 2008 02:59
Good blog.As feha said on 20th feb. I think T.V. is just waste of time.In my opine you will not learn from T.V.Only you will get the news of world.Where with computer you can get the knowledge as well as you can earn online.And also you can get the news of world.There are many advantages in computer.In my opine T.V. is just waste of time.Nothing else.
August 23rd, 2008 08:44
Yes, I love my ” kids ” too. You mean my domain ” kids” , domains that I created and are now ready to fly if they will be cleverly developed ? Yes I love them all. PR0 are my favorites, just kidding. Keep up with the good work !
August 23rd, 2008 16:29
May be our children are ready to overcome by miles and understand the world better. They will make the world better. Their intelligence will make it a better world.
August 27th, 2008 03:06
I applaud for your discipline but sometimes you have to let kids be kids. Isn’t surfing the internet for entertainment comparable to watching Tv.
August 30th, 2008 13:10
Not watching television definitely shows a lot of discipline/dedication. I for one don’t think I would know what to do with myself without tv.
August 31st, 2008 02:48
Are you for real
August 31st, 2008 12:10
I think your ways are good because you are making your children computer literate so they don’t grow up not being able to use technology. I highly support the “geek ness”.
August 31st, 2008 12:18
I would definitely disagree with the tv disciplines kids idea.
August 31st, 2008 14:17
nice articles..
thanks
September 3rd, 2008 00:41
I work almost all the night and then go to drop my son in school in morning and then I go to sleep. After 4 hours I wake up again and go to pick him up. I do all this only for a lovely kiss and dear word “PAPA”. I think this super mini computer is biggest invention and nothing can compete it. I love you my son.
September 9th, 2008 07:39
Yes parenting is no easy job. I have 3 kids. I can’t wait for them to go to college.
September 13th, 2008 02:17
Good for you! Television is an incredible manipulation especially for kids. If you watch carefully you can see how everything is just set up. News, movies, competitions !
I mostly watch NG and discovery!
September 25th, 2008 04:17
Good call - the TV thing is a debateable one. If your child cant concentrate on books, then how will you child ever see, for instance, animals that are not tnative to your area? In this way Discovery and PBS come in very handy.
September 25th, 2008 05:07
Discovery!!! Thats all i have to say - great programs.
September 25th, 2008 12:18
If your child cant concentrate on books, then how will you child ever see, for instance, animals that are not tnative to your area?
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Go to your local library ?
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Unlike Indonesia, where libraries are very rarely available for public, and their books’ collections are not so good - in USA / UK / etc their public librarier are a joy to be in.
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When I was in Birmingham, one of our favorite activities were to visit the Central Library, and spend the whole day there. It’s a bliss.
September 27th, 2008 19:48
thats a great post.very gud and true to the core. also the best gift you have given ur kids is no tv.keep up the gud work.
October 1st, 2008 02:30
Yeah, TV is horrible for kids. Good work.