Comments on: Extreme Feminism : How my mother’s fanatical views tore us apart

By: Voos Baratos

Voos Baratos — Thu, 09 Oct 2008 15:36:23 +0000

Extremism is sometimes needed but its never a good long term thing. Especially here, I mean, how can a woman with a daughter say that. She will always make her daughter feel bad with those allegations. Some people are just mean!

By: Ladies Briefcase

Ladies Briefcase — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 07:15:41 +0000

Hi, for me this is nice to see such thing. I think feminism is primarily about emancipation. There is a need for it. Badly so. In many ways and in many realms of almost all societies women are still behind men. I could only envy and imagine the happiness that a good mother enjoys every day. The case of Rebeca Walker is proof of the many ways the relation between parents and children can go wrong. It does not, in my opinion, tarnish the ideals of feminism. Even I can say There’s the need for balance in everything, even more so in a family. concluding to point is that feminism is primarily about emancipation. ….

By: Ladies Briefcase

Ladies Briefcase — Thu, 07 Aug 2008 07:12:11 +0000

By: colson

colson — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 14:33:06 +0000

@sufehmi: The pleasure is reciprocal. That’s for one.

The “Do be gentle with me” is a line I especially like ( we boys will be boys, don’t we). And I am familiar with this kind of “bribes” you mentioned too ( although occasionally it could have been considered blackmail on the part of my wife as well - my bad conscious and all that bullshit, you know.)

Anyhow (1) as a belated answer to a question I hereby declare that in retrospect I’m satisfied with the number (and the personalities) of my (three) children and that I hope for three of four grandchildren and (2) that I wish you all kinds of the success you want and all the luck you need in building your company.

@tazlucu: Those are different words, so probably you’re right: different meanings. Whatever the name, I wanted to refer to people who, based on their particular revelations or ideology, have the characteristics of a closed mind, exclusive thinking and are convinced of having found the universal, absolute, unchanging truths. And who want others to live accordingly. Which, in my book is quite extreme. And quite fundamentalist for that matter,

By: tazlucu

tazlucu — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:46:42 +0000

@colson
fundamentalism is not extreme. Don’t be confused and mix that word.

By: sufehmi

sufehmi — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 13:22:45 +0000

@colson - welcome back pak I was hoping you’d show up and share your thoughts in this topic.
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The case of Rebecca Walker is proof of the many ways the relation between parents and children can go wrong. It does not, in my opinion, tarnish the ideals of feminism. I’ve got a strong feeling that if it hadn’t been for ‘feminism’ another factor would have had the same effect on this particular parent-child relation.
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Fully agree with you.
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Personally I think feminism should be the norm, and there’s no need to even name it.
The ideals of feminism are all simply common sense. IMHO.
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Rights, justice, and honour for women. Just as we, men, would like it as well.
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I think feminism is primarily about emancipation. There is a need for it. Badly so. In many ways and in many realms of almost all societies women are still behind men.
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That seems to be the case indeed.
Although less so in my tribe (Minangkabau). For starters, it’s a matrilineal culture. Women passes down land & heritage to their daughters.
Father’s (men’s) role in the family are further lessened by stronger role of uncles (mamak) from the mother’s side in the family.
So women are quite empowered in this particular culture.
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So yes, perhaps I’d be in a position where I’d not be able to fully understand the issues related to feminism (me being a man & member of Minang tribe). Do be gentle with me
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But I’ve seen extreme cases where women are badly abused.
Example: some cultures in Pakistan & India allow forced marriage. This alone has caused deaths, and even more, life-long misery. Women can be sold to the highest bidder as bride. Etc.
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In these cases, there’s genuine need to put things back to its tracks. This is where feminist movement are relevant, and indeed important.
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In Pakistan and other muslim culture, this caused the muslimah feminism movement. Since women rights are already upheld & guaranteed in Islam, it is important to make sure that it’s actually implemented in the daily life.
I’m not too familiar though about this particular / specific feminism branch. I know only people like Mulia or Amellie.
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But of course then there will be extremists. Such as the one mentioned in this article.
Also there are extreme muslimah feminists. Usually they were abused, then they took revenge on the religion - instead of realizing that it’s a cultural issue.
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To me therefore feminism means strong, independent, confident, assertive, active persons who are striving to close the gap. This implies the ideal of gender equality also. It takes strong, independent, confident, assertive, active m e n as well to bring this situation about. Men who, for instance, share on a 50 - 50 basis the burden of household and raising children (I’ve to admit i personally fell short on this one).
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Bullseye again. That’s my personal experience as well.
Without strong leadership in a family, the family risked being thrown around anywhere life is bringing them, or unbalancedly (is there such word?? grin) dominated by just one party.
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There’s the need for balance in everything, even more so in a family.
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I think I’m even worse than you in this case, at times I must work at weekends ! The kids (and my wife) were screaming at first. But I hope they understand now (I’m at middle phase of building my own company).
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I do need to “bribe” them from time to time though like taking them to the theme park at non-holidays (so they can have the rides for themselves), and other such perks. Otherwise they’ll make sure that I’m completely pulverized
In any case, great fun.
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Whoops, got lost there - ok, back to the topic !

By: chodirin

chodirin — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 13:21:53 +0000

doh.. maksudnya apa ya

By: masenchipz

masenchipz — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 10:11:55 +0000

GKBK fr “I hope that my mother and I will be reconciled one day”… gdddd….

By: colson

colson — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 08:03:38 +0000

Well, well, well…

Any kind of extremism is a travesty of ideals. Fundamentalist feminists seem to act just like all fundamentalists: exclusive thinking and a closed mind which is made possible by the (false)conviction that they have the absolute truth in their possession. In the name of the ideals of a better world they justify the harm they do to other individuals. IN the process they do harm to the mainstream of their movement also and provide the opponents and enemies of the moderates with ‘ammunition’ to fight them. The same kind of harm fundamentalists with a totally other set of ideals do to their moderate fellow idealists.

I think feminism is primarily about emancipation. There is a need for it. Badly so. In many ways and in many realms of almost all societies women are still behind men. To me therefore feminism means strong, independent, confident, assertive, active persons who are striving to close the gap. This implies the ideal of gender equality also. It takes strong, independent, confident, assertive, active men as well to bring this situation about. Men who, for instance, share on a 50 - 50 basis the burden of household and raising children (I’ve to admit i personally fell short on this one).

The case of Rebecca Walker is proof of the many ways the relation between parents and children can go wrong. It does not, in my opinion, tarnish the ideals of feminism. I’ve got a strong feeling that if it hadn’t been for ‘feminism’ another factor would have had the same effect on this particular parent-child relation.